Red Eyes

I think I was born with my eyes red
Cause 99% of the time they are
At least that’s the assessment so far
Sitting with my Gameboy in the back of the car

I’m about 8 years old and content as ever
Until Grandma has to leave with my sister
And I don’t want to go cause it’s too much of a bother
She agrees that I can stay as long as I don’t let in my father

But I did it anyway when he can by
And she came home and saw him there
They started arguing and fighting
about me and how I should be

He pushes her into a wall and she slaps his face
My sister is crying already, it was too much for her to take
And then I start to cry
I start to shed tears from my red eyes

Fast forward about six years and I live with Dad now
Kind of outgrew my grandma and this was where I needed to be
Not knowing at the time what would happen to me
And just how much it would ruin me

My dad is a marijuana enthusiast, much like me
Guess it runs in the family.
Anyway, one Halloween, he was higher than he should be
And he turned into a beast.

He gave my brother and I this lecture
About how our careers would be chosen by him
Because we were too stupid to choose for ourselves
And we’d basically die without his help

And my eyes are already red

And so he goes on and on until I had enough
and I refuted his bullshit cause I didn’t think I was stupid
and I didn’t need his help and I didn’t need him to choose for me
and then he screams louder at me and people start staring

Then both of us stop talking cause we’re heated
And we head home and I open the door
And I didn’t notice the strength I had, I didn’t expect it show
But when I pulled the door back, in the wall, there was a hole

And my dad snaps. He digs off into my chest
And I stop breathing for a second, gasping for help
Then my stepmother pulls him off me
And keeps him from choking me to death

And then I ask myself why he hates me so much
And what I did to deserve this from him
And I run to the basement and yell that I want to die
And I begin to cry, through my red eyes

Five years later, I’m a man now
and I’m smoking heavy
and I’m crying out not through my eyes
But through the brokenness in me

I’m looking to the clouds
As I catch my own,
Asking for my father above me
To show that he still loves me

I’m lighting blunt after blunt
And constantly hitting a bong time after time
Just to ask that you restore this faith in me before it dies
I’m looking for you in my life, through my red eyes