The Thirst

Too thirsty


Parched.

I’m dry and empty.

Arid.

Life’s given me a desert feeling.

I’m thirsty but not for a drink or a girl

Not even for money or the world

But for fulfillment like none other

Like a secret only I can uncover

I can’t put it all into words

Nouns, adjectives and adverbs

But still a great deal of it, I need to say

And that’s why I wrote this today

I used to stare at the stars

And I would wonder how far

I’d be able to go

You know?

But I never saw myself as something special

Only as someone who someone else could get help from

I never saw my own talents and gifts

Never thought I was fit enough for this

This monster called life

Full of angst and strife

Even though, there’s some kind of light to it

I’m just not sure I was cut out to do this shit

Cause I have to ask myself sometimes

Am I even meant to be here?

I mean my parents fucked up and had me

My conception was their fear.

That’s an excuse though.

And I don’t want to make any excuses.

I’m here now so I just want know why I am here.

I want to know what my purpose is.

And that’s where my thirst is.

For a purpose.

Intangible and invisible

And so unpredictable.

I don’t know what it is

And I have no idea when it’ll reveal itself too.

But I know what I’ve done.

And know what I can do.

But my god, my god, why has thou forsaken me?

Know you’re a spirit but why have you gone ghost on me?

I can’t deal with this silence and this lack of faith in me

So forgive my weakness yet again and restore your place in me

This is all I think about these days.

My purpose and these dreams in my mind.

That’s all I want man. All I’ve ever needed.

Something to quench this thirst of mine.