Detach

Is it bad that …

I don’t want any more attachments
I long for detachment
For an escape from these obligations
And ramifications

I love my star. I really do.
I just can’t help thinking her life would be easier
If my pain and her pain,
Wasn’t all she’s used to.

I just keep looking for some balloon.
To take me higher, where all I breathe is serenity
And all I drink is Arizona tea
Where my life will be lived, perfectly.

Only my balloons pop relatively fast.
My highs hit their lows with more efficiency
It seems fate has its laugh whilst robbing me
Of the only thing anchoring me to sanity.

I don’t like having to lie.
Having to wear a mask cause I’m at a party.
Having to wipe tears away cause company is over.
Having to force all my efforts into pretending I’m sober.

When I’m, in fact, floating so heavily.
All this smoke, vapors of freedom.
Pain, THC and flames. Unholy trinity.

I guess I’d just rather float aimlessly,
Like a paper bag in the wind.
Floating here, then there then everywhere,
Then nowhere.