Floating Thoughts

When I float, I don’t come down for a while.

I swear I’ve been sleeping for a few hours now.

And somehow or some way

I’m still very much high, all I do these days

But the one thing I’ve never done

Or ever contemplated

Having one of my classic epiphanies

While I’m still faded

So as I sit here

Listening to Mellowhigh

I look out my window with red eyes

And stare at the sky

I wonder how my dad feels when he’s high

I keep asking him to smoke with me, but I might stop trying.

He does it everyday, I kind of just wanna know

How he feels and what makes him want to smoke

Truth be told, I kind of blame him

For this habit of mine

If he didn’t do it all the time,

It probably would’ve never crossed my mind

But then again, neither of Reesy’s parents smoke

And she’s like the biggest stoner I know

Maybe my theory is wrong

And it’s just me all along

Wish I could tell my grandma I float

But she’d probably disown me

But if she could know

My life would be a lot more easy

I saw my mom today

And my nephew too

I lowkey think she misses me

But we’re not as close as she wants us to be

And I wish that wasn’t so

It’d be easier you know

If I saw my mom a lot more than I do

I’d probably love her more, that’s true

My nephew finally remembers me

And greets me with a loud ‘Uncleeeee’ when he sees

I remember when this lil nigga couldn’t remember my name

It’s amazing the way things change

I love my family more than life

I swear if you had a gun at them

I’d be in front of the gun before you pulled the trigger

And I would die for these niggas.

Then I keep thinking about this one concept

I wonder what it feels like to have a team

To have a support system, a group, a crew

That’s always there for whatever you need

                                                                                 

I see people with that and I envy it

Cause I never felt something like that shit

But I suppose it’ll come on it’s own, in it’s own time

So for now, I’ll just worry about me and my mines

So many thoughts, so little time

Does anyone care anymore?

Is this all for nothing?

Is there a reason to share anymore?

I don’t have the answers yet.

But I’ll keep looking.

For now, enjoy these thoughts of mine.

These are the ones I have when I’m floating.