Written Tears

God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. The ones who fight the best fight.

I guess that's why finding out my parents never loved me came as no surprise

But,

I've learned to love myself
through my tears
through the years
But still I have fears

I'm scared
That these words mean nothing
That we were never something
But mostly, of what people think I'm becoming

I'm losing so much and gaining so much at the same time
It's like a ... changing of the guard.
I'm afraid of what these new people will think of these scars

These reflections of the boy I used to be
The boy that was never me

So when I asked the girl if she loves me
And she said,

"Yes, more than myself"

I felt like screaming for help.

The scars, does she see them?
The pain, does she feel it?
I wish she did and I wish she didn't.
I wish this upon no one,

I wish I didn't have to keep it hidden
But I guess it's not anymore.
It's written.