Insomnia

I don’t know where this comes from

I mean I know people who suffer from this

But it’s always evaded me

I have no clue why I can’t sleep

As I lie in my bed

Trying to conjure sleep

I stare at the plainly white space that is my ceiling

And I fall deep

Deep into my thoughts and feelings

Last place I should be

Cause there’s too many

For just me

I just argued with my best friend

And I don’t even know how it began

Maybe with the fact that she has an ‘ain’t shit’ boyfriend

And I told her that it should end

Cause do you know what this nigga told her?

She loves him and my best friend, she loves hard.

But he couldn’t accept it and the reason was obvious to me.

He basically told her “I don’t want you to love me”.

It crushed her, the weight of that rejection

And here I was with acceptance

But she thought I was talking out my neck

Little did she know it was actually regret

See cause everything she’s going through

I went through once before

I think that’s the way God built us

So that when one needed something, the other was at the door

But yeah we argued, fell out, that’s that.

Not the first time.

Another lesson learned. Another story to tell.

Another rhyme.

Sitting here still staring at the ceiling

And trying to avoid the next feeling.

But I couldn’t shake it for some reason,

So I just lied there. Seething.

Then the one that hits me low

And the one that everyone should know.

I can’t escape my wanting of someone to love

A wife to call my own.

I know I’ve said this before

And even after this, I’ll end up saying it more

But love is the thing I treasure

My ultimate pleasure

Then of course this leads me to wonder

When will God send me mine

I thought I had her, I swear I did

But all was revealed in time

Man I don’t think anyone truly understands

I don’t think anyone ever can

Understand the desire for me to have a woman who loves me for me

The desire for me to just be someone’s man

Now I feel like shit cause of these thoughts.

Told you. My feelings are much too steep.

And I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit

If I could only get some sleep.

Having the absolute strangest bout of insomnia. I can't shake it dawg.
— Julius Blake (@princexhermes) May 10, 2013