Simple Desire (My Light)

When I was 14, I wanted to die

There was no hope in my life

It was filled with darkness and lies

And I was done trying

Religion was a non-factor

Cause no amount of my faith yielded results

And there was no one who I could talk to

Who said anything other than “it’s your fault”

So a skinny teenage freshmen going to Inkster High

Living everyday hoping it’d his last

Praying that death could come fast

He found something.

And it happened in a barbershop

Where he always got his fresh cut.

Heard it on the radio

As Q told him he was next up.

That’s when I discovered it.

The thing that saved my life.

The day I found a miracle

To end all this strife.

Cause music was always the cure

The problem was, I vibed with none of it

So I needed something that spoke to me

Something that related to MY shit

In a time when I literally was losing everything,

That sound we all know, it shined so bright.

And gradually I appreciated my life.

Thanks to this gift. This light.

It’s been four years since that day

And the light has stayed.

It’s become brighter, outshining everything else.

It’s the only thing that helps.

Now, I’m being tested again.

and my life is once again filled with strife.

But I’m not giving up this easy

Not without a fight.

And I thought that this could be my victory.

My win over the bullshit in my life.

But once again, I lost to the fuckery that surrounds me.

It’s astounding.

Astounding how you can try so hard for something.

And you still not get shit.

And yeah you fucked up a few times

But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it.

My light is in a city five hours away from me

And everything that I know is telling me I can’t go.

And no one knows how that kills me.

Man no one really feels me.

Cause when I was at my lowest point,

This light saved me.

And all I can do to repay my debt

Is to support whole-heartedly

All I want is a shot at happiness.

I don’t want much else.

And I think I deserve to be happy.

Considering the pain I felt.

But as I sit here telling this story,

Even now, I feel tired.

Tired of fighting this losing fight and losing my light.

Tired of chasing this simple desire.