String Theory III

Out of string. Out of chances.
Out of love, how romantic.
You drained me but you’d say I drained myself.
This was a two-person dance though, I had your help.

I thought by pretending I possessed no heart
And faking how I felt from the start
That I could protect myself from her
From letting her make us lovers

She with her clutches and her tempting aroma,
She’s what pushed us closer, she’s my drug.
You let her embrace you, you let her touch your heart.
Her name’s Love.

I know what love does to me but you do not.
You have not witnessed the effects of this drug,
This crack, this blue magic
The lengths I’ve gone just to feel like I had it

That’s why I desired it no more.
My heart, while in existence, was like desert.
But yours, yours was so easy to enter
You loved yet again even though it hurt.

And so the string was easy to pull.
You were easy to have.

But I should have warned you.
I’m not what you want me to be
I think you knew even though, to me
You gave your heart, the one thing you need.

You shouldn’t have been that weak.
For love was not the thing I sought to seek
And your everything was not something I ought to be,
Could you not see how wrong you were for me?

Or how wrong I was for you?
We’d never work as a couple.
Like a machine that wants to work but is missing a screw
You wanted me to, badly, but I could never love you

You see, I only love whom I can’t have.
Like a kid with braces in a candy store.
I love whores who just abhor
With no love at all in sight.

Which is why, I thought my carelessness was alright.
It’s not like I was going to find love anyway.

In part two, I was able to apologize and receive some kind of closure. Only now that it’s over, you're back and I'm not even remotely sober. I’m drunk with thoughts and memories and loneliness, surrounded by enemies, it’s eating at me. Wondering just what could happen if I allowed it. Wondering if your love is a powerful as these clouds is. See I wonder sometimes baby … but only sometimes. Maybe you’ll be the reason I let myself feel again. I don't want to be numb forever. So are we supposed to together? Perhaps. Maybe we'll never know.

One thing’s for sure, I ran out of string a long time ago.

String Theory
String Theory II