Wanderer

Lost in the void,
I know you feel me

You’re just drifting
No destination in mind
A few places you could go
Not like you don’t have the time

Time

Infinite and finite, simultaneously
Running out of it but still so much to keep
Asking yourself if you still have enough
Or maybe you’re out of chances to find love

Love

A drug. Like none other.
An addiction you can’t shake
Suffering withdrawals, clawing at the point of entry
Wondering when you’ll have it and never again feel empty

It just throws itself at you
You reach for it as if it’s right in front of you
Like Gatsby reached for his sweet Daisy
It’s a dream that only seems possible when you’re sleeping

Reminiscent of the time when you thought it was possible
Looking over your shoulder at the past
Until you begin backpedaling into the chasm
Why you can’t conjure amnesia, well that’s something you’ll never fathom

So amongst this throng of rights and wrongs,
A picture, a photograph comes along
And her face brings back so much warmth and strength
Until you realize why the connection teetered on such a short length

But you can’t cry.

It’s like willingly taking a knife to the stomach.
Then praying that no one will see you bleed.
As much as you love her and miss her,
No one can know just how much of her you need

You need quite a lot.
Don’t think you realized it until she walked away.
It seems your time isn’t the only finite resource,
Friendships come and go, of course.

But I know the truth.

You whisper to yourself in the nighttime
That these feelings, “they shouldn’t be mine”
You want to deny them for all they do is build more walls
But in your efforts to tear them apart, you fall.

Horribly.

Depleted canteens, exhaustion. Dying of thirst.
No more water for you.
Enter the desert with those red eyes, clouded by a mirage
Seeing you as everything but yourself. Pitiful façade.

You’re not us.

You’re not like the rest of us.
You’re peculiar. You’re strange. A beautiful tragedy.
You could’ve been but then God would’ve made a mistake.
So this is who you had to be.

This is the path you’re destined to walk.
One narrower and less broad than that of everyone else.
Your pain, it demands to be felt.
As always, it’s too strange to be helped.

So you just bear it all in silence
and you continue to drift.

Don’t worry about if you’ll be missed
Just go.

Walking off to the corner and existing from afar,
The undeniably bleak and faded Wanderer.