LND

Two years ago, I fell in love
But that isn't why I'm hurting
At least not anymore
These days, I'm never sure

No my pain stems from something else
Something I'm not sure can be helped
Because though I was in love, I still loved
And fiercely too

But then my growth betrayed you
My changes, they dismayed you
I tried to persuade you
That I was still the same guy

But even then I knew it was a lie

I can't help the fact that I'm changing
Because half the time, I'm not trying to.
I wish I could be the guy you knew two years ago
I wish you could see just how much I know

And understand that those words weren't meaningless
And that I cried whilst typing them
That I felt like I died
When you turned your back on me

And left me exposed for the world to see

I trusted you with my heart
And you knew that.
Didn't stop you from tearing it apart.

It didn't stop you from ridiculing me for being myself
It didn't stop you from laughing at the fact that I still love you
It didn't stop you from judging everything I do
It didn't stop you from ... matter of fact, it did nothing at all.

Is that believable?
That I offered you my all, everything I had to offer
And you still spat in my face.
Is that conceivable?

Because no matter how smart I convince myself I am
No matter what advice I offer to others
Admittedly, I never saw this coming
And the realization of that makes me shudder

I don't know if you'll ever read this. I don't know if some part of you still cares. But if you do, please know that when I said I loved you, I meant it. That's why I can't stop.

I started off saying ...

I fell in love two years ago.
I haven't been right since that night.
Because even though you weren't who I fell in love with,
Love never dies.

I'm always going to fucking love you.