wild

i remember when i told her 

"i found him"

"who?"

"HIM"

you're crazy..

just.. stop 

mess around 

why focus on one so hard to reach

when you see all of them wanting you, surrounding you?

because i found him

everything stopped 

and though i knew the chances were slim 

my heart never dropped

he took me high, even if i fell i'd be amongst the clouds

i guess when you're so distant, when your heart's so far away

you lose sight of what's important and what's in front of you today

i say if you never grow close

you can't grow apart

and i claimed distance was key

to prevent a broken heart

i kept lying to myself

or maybe he'd lied to me 

because at that point

anything he said, i'd believe 

like how he won't make me regret it

or that he loved me and he wouldn't let me forget it?

that i was the only one who he could see himself with? 

but i already felt him, slipping away

further than he was in the first place 

distant, but in a different way

he left

and i lost

and i cried every day's night away 

as if he was here to begin with

as if i expected him to stay

because when i first loved him

it seemed like a dream

and i felt so hopeless because he had what he needs 

not me

i can't begin to tell you how many times i've tripped into this cycle 

and i'm beginning to think i'm stupid 

or realize i'm stupid

their reality was so selective

and so different than mine

and i couldn't change that

i couldn't shake it

because they couldn't wait more time 

and i understand. i'm not worth it. 

i can't tame a man's mind.