Thursday

Spent too much time remembering
And less time forgetting.
Your consciousness and your foundation is slipping
Every time you fall into what you’re reminiscing.

You’ve been impatient enough to try to name them
Only you weren’t aware one could never tame them.

Something as … potent as a flame.

Cause in truth, they burn you.

They learn you … to the subtle truths of this heart that no one understands.

So you drift into them
And you see so many faces.
So many names and dates.
Even ones you might hate.

Like the day you were left as an infant on a couch
The day your mother hoped she’d never have to tell you about.

& you heard it through your cousin’s mouth.
& you watched as your sister fell to the ground
Crying out “no” in agony
As your heart dropped & you began to wonder just what was happening …

Because that was the first time loss entered you
The one you remember most clearly

Losing that which you love most dearly
A pain that, for a while, you felt yearly.

This hardened you.
You became a different person
With morals so foreign
It was hard to ignore it.

Falling in love a dozen times
Choosing to cling to Her instead of the strife

Until you met the love of your life
17 years old and already ready to take his bride.
But something lurked inside.
Two years later, it’s almost like she died.

And that’s how easy it is to get lost in a memory.
To lose sense of who you are in favor who you used to be.
But you already know this.
There isn’t much left for me to say.

Thursday.